A Seemingly Futile Quest for Answers

     As a senior in high school, it seems as if the only topic those around me are interested in is the future.  I cannot count the number of times of late that  I have been asked questions such as "Where are you going to college?" or "What are you going to major in?" or "What do you want to do with your life?".  Because I have been so continually questioned and rather frequently berated for my typically inconclusive responses, I recently endeavored to discover the elusive answers to these seemingly pressing questions.  Unfortunately, despite my noblest efforts, all I came to find in my Quest for Answers was frustration and depression.  I thought quite long and hard about all the potential routes my future could take, which path I should choose, and various other autonomous issues.  Afterward, though, I felt no sudden relief or revelation; in reality, all I wanted to do was crawl up in the corner and cry.  Yet, after about a day of despair and confusion, the Lord was very gracious to reveal to me the apparent error in my way of thinking.  All too often I am foolishly led astray and befuddled by the influence of society, with their questions such as "What do you want to do with your future?" or "What are your plans?".  Such questions do not glorify the Lord, but glorify the individual, and quite frankly lead to hopelessness and selfishness.  Thankfully, the Lord has not left me to perish in such places, but continues to allow me to see my life, not in light of the false teachings of man, but in light of His Gospel and grace.  Rather than asking myself what I want to do, I instead should consider "What could I do, not only in the future, but right now, to best serve the Kingdom of Christ?" and "What gifts has the Lord granted to me, whether as an individual or as a part of His Redeemed, that I can use to serve the church and the Kingdom?".  When I ask myself these questions, the answers seem far more clear and Biblical than when I attempt, usually in vain, to figure out what Janae wants to do.  The Lord has graciously extended salvation to me, while I was yet a sinner, and has adopted me into His household.  As a redeemed member of the body of Christ, I am called to serve and love the Church.  Thus, even if my ideas and plans for my future do not come to fruition, I can rest knowing that I will always be called, in whatever walk of life or whatever circumstance, to serve and love the church, be it through women's ministry or worship ministry or children's ministry or whatever the Lord wills.  Additionally, the Lord created me as a woman, unique and distinct from man, for a reason and a purpose.  As a woman, I can serve the Kingdom by being a loving wife and mother in the future, though such things inevitably demand sacrifice and will surely be sanctifying.  Because I was created by God for the role of Wife and Mother, I know that I would find joy and fulfillment in doing those things.  What a relief it has been to ponder my future not as my own, but as Christ's, for I no longer belong to myself, but to Him!  May I seek to serve Him, not only in the days to come, but in each and every day!
Blessings,
Janae Elisabeth