Scars

     As I looked upon my reflection in the mirror today, I was tempted, as I so often am, to be utterly repulsed by the face before me.  Most women I know struggle intensely with desiring to feel beautiful, and I am certainly no exception.  After battling cystic acne for a number of years, my skin is certainly not pale and porcelain as I would like.  Consequently, at times I can hardly stand to look at my face for all the deep scars within it. Today, though, in the midst of this moment of despair, the Lord, as He is so faithful to do, brought a beautiful revelation into my mind that nearly brought me to tears. 
There was a time in my life in which I lived in a state of utter despair, self-loathing, and depression.  I could not stand my life; I was very far from the Lord; at times, all I wanted to do was die.  Strangely, though certainly not accidentally, enough, this was about the time that my skin was breaking out the worst and causing me both physical and emotional pain.  Thankfully, though, by the grace of God, I was providentially lifted out of this state of hopelessness by a number of fantastic events and was brought once again into the arms of the Father, where I experienced much joy and healing.  Foolishly I believed that after this renewal, my life would be smooth sailing.  However, though I have been healed, not only of my struggle against cystic acne, but more importantly of the sickness in my soul, I still live with the scars of my past struggles and battles.  At times, I am drawn once again into despair and depression; at times, I am tempted to believe in the lies which so terribly entangled me before the Lord's grace abounded to me and rescued me; at times, all I can see are the scars and the limp that I carry from my past.  Yet, I can find, and continue to find, renewed joy and healing in the Gospel.  In Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, Albert Mohler wonderfully illustrates this concept:
"Consider a man who has sinned by driving under the influence of alcohol.  One night, sinfully drunk and recklessly irresponsible, this man drives right into a wall at high speed.  His body is broken, but his life is saved as he is taken to the hospital and receives emergency treatment.  He recovers from the accident, but he will forever walk with a limp.  Let us follow this man as he comes to faith in Christ.  The grace of God transforms him, reordering his affections as he gains victory over alcoholism.  Regeneration has produced a new man.  "The old has passed away; behold the new has come" (2 Cor. 5:17)--but he still walks with a limp.  This limp does not disqualify him from displaying the glory of God.  As a matter of fact, he may see his limp as an opportunity for witness: "I want to tell you who I was in order to tell you who I now am by the grace of God.  You see, this limp is a part of my story.  It's an important part of how I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ and how he changed my life."  In reality, every one of us limps.  Throughout our lives, until the day of glorification, every one of us will limp.  We must look to the moment of our future glorification (Rom. 8:30) as the moment of our release from every limp."
What an encouragement it is to know that although I may now limp and carry scars because of sin's affect on my body and soul, I am not condemned to forever live and walk as an incomplete creature.  There will be complete release and full restoration on the day of glorification!  Praise the Lord!  As for now, I pray that I will use my limp and scars to bring glory to Christ, to proclaim not only the saving work he has done and continues to do in my life, but the ultimate hope I have for eternity in Him for healing!
Blessings,
Janae Elisabeth